Did you know that Memorial Day was originally intended to celebrate famous mustaches from the Civil War?  Well believe it.  Its on the internet, so its true.  As the legend goes, the holiday was started by Colonel “Sideburns” Burnsides, a Confederate general (they were a new army and had not yet sorted out how rank worked).  

As he cast his gaze upon a battlefield full of Union soldiers at the Battle of Spencer’s Hillock he turned to address his troops.  ”Gentlemen, we will surely die today.  About that there can be no doubt.  But our glorious mustaches and sideburns demand that we stay and fight.  These sepia photographs of us standing without expression will live on and Americans will celebrate our glorious mustaches once every year.  It will be called Mustache Memorial Day, and they will celebrate by doing what we in the south do best.  Nothing.  They shall grill meats, have parades, and it shall become fashionable to start wearing white.

Well at some point along the line it was changed to just “Memorial Day” and instead of honoring just those unfortunate, very dead Confederate soldiers, it was broadened to honor all those who have given their lives in the defense of our country.  It was also expanded to include soldiers without mustaches, about which we have no complaint. 

As silly as this endevour is, perhaps Mustaches for Kids is a microcosm for why this is the greatest country in the history of the world.  We have the freedom to grow mustaches to draw out the charity that already exists in our friends.  On the surface, that sounds insane.  But if you think about it, what other countries have the resources, creativity, and philanthropic drive to do such a thing?  Not many, and none as impressively as ours.  We have thousands of men and women to thank for that, including Mustache Karl who is growing AND serving in Iraq.  Stay safe brother, and thank you to you and all your mates.

Happy Memorial Day.

As most of you know, my dog (Apollo – see below)  has special powers.  Similar to Spiderman, he has an extra sense.  He can sense all things stache.  His knowledge of all things stache is beyond that of what we humans can comprehend.  Last year, he gave me direction and guidance during growing season, typically via scratching and licking himself.  Last year’s growers, “The Dirty Thirty,” know that his influence directly lead to our triumph over Iowa with over $20,000 raised.

below is a link to a newspaper in Washington.  While you may think it is outright theft just relax, they are not Canadian so we let the love flow to our brethren.  In the article she mentions a Nebraska Employee and she is talking about our very own Mustache Chuck (Schneider).  Way to be a nation-wide trend setter Schneider.  Thanks everyone who came out last night and played Mustache Trivia…..did Mustache Tom really think Burt Reynolds was in Cannonball Run III?  come on man.

http://www.qvpr.com/articles/stache-cash-yahoo-workers-raise-funds

Canada Strikes!!!!
Last night they teamed up with Subway to have my truck towed!!!  It had nothing to do with the sign that I parked by (which I really did not notice).  They are feeling our power and are trying to slow our roll.  Well Ice Hockey Freaks you have done pissed me off!!!  I am re-focusing my efforts, with a farely slow week last week this is just the motivation I needed to get back on track. $187 to get my truck back, listen Canada and Subway, the last thing you should have done was poke a bear.  First off Subway I am not a small man, I am a bit of an eater, you may have just cost yourself thousands as I am going to boycot subway!!!  And then you stain of Canada freaks,  with the money I save from not eating at Subway I am teaming up with McDonalds to have them put a little extra wang in your special sauce!!! 
 
Screw You Canada!!!!!!!
 
Thanks
Mustache Big Jay

Our mustaches make us unique, but they also make us the target of discrimination, and I point this out only so we can grow stronger as a group. One of my friends intended to be a grower this year, but he has to meet the Governor of North Dakota in two weeks as part of his job, and my friend’s boss told him that he couldn’t have a mustache when he met the governor. I am glad I am not my friend, because I could not work for such a ignorant and hateful boss. However, I must commend the great state of North Dakota. Governor John Hoeven is a proud mustache wearer, which makes the bossman’s decision even worse. We mustache men love to admire the lip rugs of other manly men, and I’m sure the governor would have bought whatever my friend was selling.

I have another friend who made the bold step to grow a mustache this year. He is already sporting a fine stache after five days, but he fears he will have to shave it because he’s flying to California in two weeks to meet some Hollywood waxed-types. Please pray for Mustache Joe that he will be strong and not give into the temptation of shaving his sweet stache.

Finally, I saw a picture in the World Herald today, which is the workplace of Class of 2009 Mustache Robert. The picture reveals the power of the stache. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world, and high school phenom Eduardo Gamboa used his power of the stache to score two overtime goals for South Sioux City. I’m sure Skutt knew they had no chance at victory once the Teenage Stache Wonder took the field. Eduardo, you are pure stache genius. I lift my full-calorie Old Milwaukee in your honor.

Live free, live the stachely life.

My mustachioed brothers, you may have heard during Grower Orientation that the official mustache greeting is:

Greeting: “Nice Mustache”

Response: “You too brother”

Here is its origin.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HduK_I3lpek

Very Stachely Yours,

The Commodore

Looks like Hitler found out about M4K Omaha. 

http://www.m4komaha.com/index.php/media

There is still time to join us as a Grower for 2010. Just e-mail your contact information to stache@m4komaha.com and you will start getting important growing information.

We are currently recruiting growers for the 2010 season. E-mail stache@m4komaha.com to be added to the grower list. Also, check out the website for information about the upcoming informational meeting (April 21).

A collection of exceptionally hot men with mustaches? $20,000 raised for a kids’ cancer camp? Two mustaches impersonating newscasters? The Omaha M4K leader dressed only in a swim cap and Speedo? That sounds like a place that cameras should be, and the crack Channel 6 news team agreed. Click below for a link to the news coverage of the 2009 Stache Bash:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mSMSXdYvv0

Kudos to Channel 6 for recognizing and publicizing mustache greatness. While the growers certainly didn’t need any additional public affirmation of their perfection, we did have an obligation to share the mustache gospel with the less informed.