A collection of exceptionally hot men with mustaches? $20,000 raised for a kids’ cancer camp? Two mustaches impersonating newscasters? The Omaha M4K leader dressed only in a swim cap and Speedo? That sounds like a place that cameras should be, and the crack Channel 6 news team agreed. Click below for a link to the news coverage of the 2009 Stache Bash:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mSMSXdYvv0

Kudos to Channel 6 for recognizing and publicizing mustache greatness. While the growers certainly didn’t need any additional public affirmation of their perfection, we did have an obligation to share the mustache gospel with the less informed.

Stache Bash was an unqualified success.  Many beautiful mustaches, insanely original and hysterical costumes, misguided judges, and a perfect evening combined to make the First Annual Stache Bash a very difficult event to surpass next year.  But we shall. 

The evening started at the Royals game with a camper throwing out the first pitch and a check presentation after the second inning.  Then, for no good reason, two StacheBrothers squared off in a bungee tug-of-war after the sixth inning.  Mustache Kris beat Mustache Chris for the title.  More accurately, The Commodore beat Alice in Wonderland.  When we left, the Royals were winning.  When our Staches left, so did the mojo and the mighty Royals faltered.

The final total raised was over $20,000!  Money continues to trickle in, and we will publish the final amount in a week or so.  The donation link will be severed on Monday, June 14th.   Not bad for a group shooting for $2,000, but then again, it should never surprise us when the generosity of Omaha exceeds expectations. 

Congratulations to Mustache Jay who won biggest fundraiser (over $3,500!!), and Sweetest Stache.  The judges were clearly awarding the Sweetest Stache based on the merciless pandering to WOWT as Jay was a spot-on Jim Flowers with a green screen.  Anything to distract from the hodgepodge of whiskers fighting on his lip like rabid squirrels.

Mustache David, sporting Magnum, won Most Testosterone.  Mustache Kevin, in a downright creepy-good Lt. Dangle costume (from Reno 911) won Best Costume, and Mustache “Sleepy Doc” Dave won Nastiest Stache by taking a pathetic stache (The Mustache Formerly Known as Prince”) and dying it green.  We will update the website with some pictures of the shenanigans this weekend.

 The thank yous are too voluminous and will be a separate post.

Mark Spitz.  Rollie Fingers.  The list of famous athletes with mustaches is long and distinguished.  Well to that roster you may add Red Dawn, Mustache Kris’ volleyball team.  This group of bangers had plenty of talent, but heading into the National Indoor Championships in Minneapolis they lacked a bit of hutzpah.  And how did they find it in time to walk away victorious?  Thats right, they all grew mustaches.  This picture was taken last week, not in 1978.

Red Dawn

They even met a marvelous group of mustachioed individuals from New York called “Mustache Mafia.”  These men were gracious, wise, and, of course, sexy.  They are living the stachely life in New York and had to go all the way to Minnesota to get a break from the incessant phone calls and attention from the opposite sex.  Oh! what a mistake!  Minnesota has women who are even more smitten with a finely groomed milk mop.  In desparation to escape, several of the Mustache Mafia shaved the final night, and left Minnesota broken and alone.

Stay stachely my friends.

As many of you know, fame and good fortune can be fleeting, and not everyone handles it well. While Ima Stachelicous took his early success and notoriety in stride, it was only a matter of time before his life took a turn for the worse. It started innocently enough – trading e-mail addresses with other famous mustaches, signing autographs, kissing babies. However, it soon spiraled into late nights at invitation-only clubs, excessive grooming, and eventually a highly-criticized $400 trimming while his personal jet idled on the tarmac in Los Angeles.

Sadly, Ima has now made the worst decision of his 27 day life. Like Paris Hilton, William Shatner and Mr. T, Ima decided to leverage his celebrity status to cross over into the music industry. K-Tel was eager to make a buck, and quickly agreed to produce Ima’s Greatest Hits album. While the album isn’t the blockbuster that we all wanted for Stachelicious, K-Tel is contractually obligated to share it with all of you. The link to K-Tel’s TV commercial promoting the new album is below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZBDYR1irjo

As an aside, many predicted that Ima’s presence would be downfall of my marriage, since my wife would find me more disgusting than usual. However, it appears that the real cause of the divorce will be the many hours I’ve wasted producing videos about an obscure mustache that will be shaved by this weekend. This is my last of five mustache videos, and presumably my most embarassing.

Live free, live the stachely life.